How do you explain to young kids that your dog has to be euthenized?

My 3 kids are ages 3-9. I would rather tell them that we are sending our sick puppy to a farm where she will be free to play with other dogs and be taken care of.



Of course that's not realistic. We will be doing the deed within the next week. ;*( How do I prepare them? My aunt (guide dog trainer) told me to explain to them that dogs are different than kids and that if they get sick, we will not euthenize them. We do this to animals who are suffering so they won't be in pain anymore.



With kids so young though, how do you explain it? Should we let them spend a few days with the dog first, or hurry and get the deed done? Anyone out there who has done it?!



*BTW I learned the hard way about BYB's. My dog is barely over a year old! She has hip dysplasia and can't walk well- it just started a few months ago. She also has neurological problems, and is incontinent.How do you explain to young kids that your dog has to be euthenized?
Although young, kids are bright and very perceptive. Being honest and caring is the best way to go. Your kids will grow up respecting you and knowing that you won't lie or mislead them.



My husbands mother lied to him about a dog that was put down when he was a kid. Naturally, he figured it out later on in life and has never forgotten it, not to mention that it broke part of the parent/child bond.



I know it's hard. Don't ever lie to your kids. It's not doing them any favors in the long run. And you'll teach them not to trust you.



Your children need to grieve, too. You all need to grieve as a family. It's part of life.... not necessarily one of the ';good'; parts....but it's necessary. You'll be able to share your grief with your kids, something they need to see....and they will no matter what you tell them. Truth is best.



Here's a lovely poem to share:



http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rai鈥?/a>



I'm very sorry this passage in life has come upon you and your family. It's part of the greater journey..... for all of you. Share it. Open your heart to your kids.How do you explain to young kids that your dog has to be euthenized?
Don't tell a story to the kids - tell them the truth. Explain that the dog is not well, and is in pain. Explain that you are doing the best thing for the dog, as it would not be fair to keep the dog living in the condition he is in.



As for timing, that's a tough one. Personally, I would tell them a few days before the dogs is gone. This way, they can say goodbye instead of just coming home one day to find he is gone.
telling the truth is sometimes good, but if your kids are small and love their dog it can be painful. I suggest you tell them your story. Try to put yourself are their place and try to imagine yourself reacting toward the two different stories. It will help :)
Be honest but tactful with the children. It's a sad thing but children need to learn the truth about life and death and about how sometimes the kindest thing to do is to say goodbye let a pet go to heaven.



It might be sad and hard for them now, but it will also help prepare them for the hardships of life. I really do pity people who are too sheltered, as they have no chance to grow accustomed to dealing with negative emotions and moving on.
It may be tough but you should just tell them, they need to know that every living thing dies because of different reasons and give them time to say good bye. I know when I we had to put our cat down it made my two year old feel better when he said good bye. Its much better to explain death when you talk about a dog then it would be with a family member that's been around their whole lives. Good luck and be strong (for your children)
I think that you must let your kids to play with dogs then say them that he is going on farm and then kill the dog to cut his pains.In my country people does not really care about dogs,they just have them to feed hehe but you do what you think is best for your kids and the DOG...IM SORRY ABOUT DOG
For kids as young as yours, its sometimes good to sugarcoat the truth.

Tell them that he is in pain and wants to go to heaven because there he wont hurt anymore and he will be very happy up there making new dog friends to play with. Tell them before you put him to sleep.



For the 9 year old, im not sure if he or she will believe that entirely, so you can tell him/her the truth, he might understand.
I believe that the bets thing is to be honest. Of course, honesty with a nine year old is much different than with a three year old.



The nine year old should be capable of knowing that the dog is in pain and that despite how much you all love it, this is something that cannot be fixed and that this is the best thing for everyone.



Explaining to the three year old will be more difficult. Somewhere I read a story about how dogs hearts are more pure and that they don't need to be on earth as long as people........it really helped in my family's case.



Try Rainbow Bridge site for more (and better) ideas, I'm sure.



Best of luck and my heart goes out to you



Something I found to explain this to my youngest (now 21 and with her own furry child) was a story about how dogs don't need to be on this earth as long as humans....therefore they don't live as long.......
This is a very personal question, and there are lots of ways to go about it. As long as you are honest with them, there is no wrong answer as long as it feels right to you. This is a good opprotunity to explian death to them, you can't tell them grandma moved to a farm.



I would probably keep it simple, saying that the doggy is in pain and that the most human thing to do is to end her suffering. If you are religious, you can say the dog is going to doggy heaven. If not, you can just say that a dignified death is better than dragging out the pain. Keep it simple to start with Answer the questions they have, and try and make them feel included in the decision. Tell them that wou are considering putting her down, and wanted to talk to them first. Obviously if the kid flat out refuses you will still probably need to do it so don't promise that you will listen to them, but try and make them feel included if possible. Don't be surprised if they don't forgive you for a little while, it takes some maturity to understand what a favor you are doing for that poor little dog. In the long run, it will help them grow.



I would talk to the youngest seprately from the oldest. The 3 year old is going to need a very different talk from the 9 ear old. If the third is close to another one, then you can do them together. You decide what to tell each kid exaclty, but the older one/s will need more information to be able to come to terms with it than the 3 year old.



The 3 year old probably won't understnad it to well, and saying the doggy is sick and we are helping her die is probably sufficient. Saying the dog is going to sleep forever is probbly the closest you will get to explaining it, but that isn't accurate and may scare them. They may be very sad, but will proably not understand why for several years. They will get over it, and probably will simply forget with time.



The 9 year old will probably understand and will definitely be more upset. Don't be surprised if they get very angry, and give them some time to work out their feelings. They will probably some to terms with it in time, and may need support. If your child is very mature, they may understand that it is selfish to keep a dog in pain. If they don't, then this will be a big lesson that they need to learn on their own time.



Do whatever feels right to you. Good luck, and I am sorry for your loss.



ADDITION: I would let them know ASAP, but at least give them a few days with the dog. Telling them the day before is way to short a time to expect them to grieve since you have the opprotunity to give them a week.



YOu may want to think of some sort of project or way for them to express their grief, even the three year old. A funeral may not be realistic, but making a ritual out of saying goodbye can be comforting. Encourage them to expres sthemselves in wahtever way helps. Maybe write a poem of just look at some together. Drawing a picture can help, when my ggandmother died I helped my 4 year old cousin make some pictures and letters to bury with her. She didn't quite understand what was going on, but she did like being able to give her some goodbye prsents. Have them pick a blanket or toy to bring with the dog when she gets put down, and if they want to send a picture that is good too. Maybe plant some floweris in your backyrad, or bring some to her favorite spot. YOur kids may like having a way to honor her. If you have some more to spare, you can buy stones to put in your garden. They make kits for kids to choose their own sayings or picutre and to make a stone themselves, so you may want to look into that. Making a photo album or scrapbook, or even just a picture frame may give them soemthing nice to look at that will remind them of happy times.



ADDITION: I m not endorsing Amazon or this particular company, but here is an example of what I was talking about:



http://www.amazon.com/MilestonesKids-Gar鈥?/a>



This one has good reviews, and isn't that expensive.
I believe in telling the truth to my children, that way no matter how hard the situation and they may not think YOU will understand they will tell you the truth.
Like this:



';All creatures only need to live until they complete their job on earth. A puppy has a special job is to teach your children to love unconditionally, in a way that no human can. The puppy was born knowing his job. He did his job, and a good done at that. The puppy's job on earth is now complete, God may now take him. He must make room for the puppy that will come after him. The new puppy may need to teach more of the same, or have another job. You will not learn the new puppy's job until after you get to know him.';



Edit as needed.



Good luck